With the new year starting, we all have areas that we want to improve. Typically, we set New Year’s resolutions with high expectations. However, after a few months we feel disappointed that we did not maintain our efforts or achieve our goals. Some of the reasons why resolutions are difficult to maintain are the over-reliance on motivation, rigid goals, avoidance of discomfort, and self-criticism after setbacks.
Using value-based goals can increase the likelihood of success. Focus on behaviors that align with your values – not outcomes. A desire to lose weight, for example, is much more likely to be successful and sustainable if it’s based on a deeper value such as wanting to be more active with the grandchildren than if you simply have an outcome of losing 20 lbs. One of the first steps is to clarify values by asking, “Who do I want to be?” Practice using your values to guide actions even when motivation is low. We can learn to take action toward our values regardless of how we feel. You don’t have to feel better to do better.
Lastly, take small steps and expect setbacks. Strive for progress not perfection. When you slip up, normalize your struggle and return to your values. Instead of seeing failure, see feedback on ways to continue moving forward.
Remember, values-based goals provide the foundation for better and more sustainable success. While discomfort and setbacks are often a part of growth, remain flexible, persistent, and compassionate to yourself.
What values will guide you this year? What small step can you take today?
—Kenneth Williams, Lead Counselor
